#relationshipgoals: What are they? And how to create them.
The leaves are changing, ushering in my favorite season…fall. One thing I love about fall is the fresh, crisp air outside and the feeling of anticipation of new beginnings that inspires deeper self-reflection, especially after a fun-filled Chicago summer. Fall also ignites the romantic inside of me. It’s the time of year that I love to put on a Louis Armstrong record, you know the one with Ella Fitzgerald, and stay close and warm with my significant other.
This time of year also brings with it expectations about what your relationship “should” look like, especially if in comparison to the happy couples filling your social media feeds. You may even start wondering, “is my relationship #relationshipgoals?”, if you and your partner have been struggling to “get on the same page”. Or maybe, the fall brings with it a flurry of activities, work deadlines, and familial expectations that leave you feeling distant from your partner. All of which can leave you to doom-scrolling on instagram, only to find that other couples seem to be so much happier than y'all are right now.
What are #relationshipgoals anyway?
We live in a western society that tends to value a level of perfectionism that lends itself to comparison and competition. The desire then to create a “picture perfect” portrayal of self and relationship creates a pattern of unhealthy, unrealistic expectations, leaving us to become so focused on ourselves, and what we feel we lack, that we start to feel disconnected from our relationships and sometimes even feel disconnected from ourselves. So what are “relationship goals” anyway? And who defines them?
I have some good news. When it comes to #relationshipgoals, you get to decide what those are for you and your relationship. You get to look inward, consider what your hopes are for your relationship, share those hopes with your partner, and hear your partner’s hopes for your relationship. Then the two of you can collectively decide what you want your relationship to look like.
So How Do You Create Your Own #relationshipgoals?
When you see your favorite couple on social media post something that elicits that those are #relationshipgoals feeling, typically there is a desire, or a deeper more vulnerable need that is being tapped into, creating a sense of longing. Typically, that desire is for a deeper sense of intimacy with your partner, be it emotional, physical, sexual, or spiritual. The key is to take time to consider what your vulnerable needs are and how you are communicating those needs to your partner. Sometimes our vulnerable needs get lost in translation, making it difficult to feel heard and understood. This is normal in relationships! By taking time to learn how to communicate your deeper, more vulnerable needs to each other in ways that allow you both to feel heard and understood, brings about a deeper sense of intimacy and connection…allowing you to feel that you, yourselves, embody #relationshipgoals.
Are you and your partner wanting a deeper sense of connection and intimacy? Have you had difficulty communicating your needs and desires to each other? Does it feel like you keep arguing about the same things over and over, creating a sense of disconnection? If so, you came to the right place!
Schedule your consultation with HealingWorks and start your journey towards becoming your own #relationshipgoals!
