Embodiment and the Black Body
“Be strong.”
“Don’t dwell on negative emotions.”
“Be positive.”
“Get over it and move on.”
“Don’t let them see you cry.”
“Man up.”
“You’re soft.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“It could be worse.”
“Keep your head up.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Happiness is a choice.”
These are common phrases in some Black households and communities across the U.S. As black people in this country, we have continuously gone through collective trauma that is carried down through generations. We live in a world where antiblackness can be found everywhere we turn. A world in which our bodies are often not valued for the human life they possess.
We come from a rich and beautiful history that colonization seeks to erase from our memories, seeking to convince us that our history begins and ends with the horrors of American Chattel slavery, horrors that are often belittled, minmized, and even erased from some history books altogether.
It’s no wonder that we as black folks sometimes minimize our own emotional experience in an effort to keep moving forward. It’s how we’ve learned to cope. The problem is that this coping mechanism can leave us in a disembodied state, completely disconnected from our emotional selves and thus, our whole selves. We may not even recognize the physical toll this takes; the headaches that are connected to the daily anxiety of a hustle and grind culture, the digestive issues connected to undealt with grief and loss, the body tension, resulting from carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.
There is an expectation for black men and women to “be strong”. The pressure of feeling that you can’t show vulnerability, because that means weakness. However, these coping mechanisms end up hurting us more than helping.
First, we must allow ourselves to experience our vulnerable emotions without pushing them away. We can do this in safe spaces with close friends, family, and our significant other; wherever you feel welcomed to show up as your whole self. Sometimes, the first step may be showing vulnerability within ourselves, making space for acceptance of those hard to sit with emotions.
Vulnerability is strength. Allowing yourself to feel, acknowledge, name, and give space to your emotions is liberation. It can feel overwhelming at first, to give space to emotions that you so readily push down or seek to avoid. But, when you start to create this space for yourself, there is a wholeness, a validation of your beautiful humanity that brings freedom, love, healing, and embodied living.
